Mission Intake Live • The Terrible News Desk is Accepting Objectives

Mission ready • The Chicken Wing does the legwork • Tomcat on comms • Professional delivery • Questionable judgment • Somebody has to tell them • Mission ready • The Chicken Wing does the legwork • Tomcat on comms • Professional delivery • Questionable judgment • Somebody has to tell them •

Veteran-owned and operated • Zero official authority

Tom Breaks Terrible News

You have something awful to tell somebody. Tom has a phone, a flight crew, and a questionable willingness to carry out the mission.

Submit the objective. Give the Desk the context. If it survives review, Tom may deliver the terrible news so you don’t have to.

How it works

TCCallsign: TomcatTerrible news travels fast. Tomcat travels faster.

MissionDeliver the terrible news

Flight crewThe Chicken Wing

AircraftF-14 Tomcat

Threat levelRuins Thanksgiving

Flight crew

Meet the Chicken Wing

Every questionable operation needs support staff. The Chicken Wing handles scouting, research, and comms before Tom gets anywhere near the phone.

ScoutFinds the objective and checks whether this exists outside somebody’s group chat.

ResearchChecks details and tries to stop Tom from confidently delivering the wrong terrible news.

CommsPreps timing, context, and tactical clucking before launch.

They do the legwork.
Tomcat does what chickens can’t.

The Chicken Wing flight crew: Scout, Research, Comms, and Support on the flightline — **Meet the flight crew.**Scout • Research • Comms • Support

Mission brief

How the operation works

Simple enough to understand. Structured enough to keep Tom from turning a questionable idea into an international incident.

Submit for free

Tell the Desk who needs the news, what happened, and what Tom should know before dialing.

Chicken Wing review

The flight crew checks facts, context, contact information, and whether the mission is actually workable.

Mission accepted

If accepted, the call can still be free. Optional support of $25+ moves it to the Priority Call Queue.

Tomcat delivers

Tom makes the call. If actual audio cannot be published, the mission may become a reenactment or narrated mission file.

Condition levels

How bad is it?

No recognized scientific methodology. Just enough structure to estimate how much emotional body armor Tom should consider before dialing.

Condition 4 • AwkwardManageable

Condition 3 • RoughLong silence likely

Condition 2 • TerribleDefault setting

Condition 1 • CatastrophicGroup chat doomed

Black Flag • ThanksgivingHoliday seating affected

After action reports

How a mission becomes content

Format 01 • Cleared audio

Actual Call

When required consent and release are in place, the real call can become published content.

Format 02 • Identity protected

After Action Reenactment

If the real call cannot be published, Tom can recreate the exchange using changed identifying details and a non-imitative voice.

Format 03 • Desk narrative

Mission File

Some missions may be retold as an anonymized narrated story without publishing the recipient’s voice or identity.

Rules of engagement

Funny does not mean reckless.

Mission approved territory

Awkward but truthful personal news
Breakups, confessions, embarrassing updates, and family drama
Pranks or jokes that do not threaten, deceive, or unlawfully target anyone
Stories you can explain honestly with enough context to review responsibly

Mission denied

Threats, harassment, stalking, hate, or doxxing
Emergencies, self-harm, medical crises, or death notifications
Impersonating police, courts, military, government, banks, employers, or other authorities
Scams, knowingly false accusations, minors, or illegal conduct

Intel

Frequently asked questions

Who are Tomcat and the Chicken Wing?

Tomcat is the callsign and mascot for Tom’s terrible-news missions. The Chicken Wing is the fictional ground crew and recurring support cast. The F-14 is part of the visual theme. None of this implies military or government affiliation.

What does it cost?

Submitting is free, and an accepted mission does not require payment. Optional support of $25 or more gives an accepted mission priority placement in the call queue.

Will Tom call everyone?

No. Every submission is reviewed. Some are unsafe, some are a bad fit, and some simply do not deserve deployment resources.

Can I stay anonymous?

Absolutely! You can remain anonymous to the recipient. The Desk may still need your email or other contact information to verify details or follow up before a call.

Will calls be recorded or published?

Only where lawful and appropriate. Publishing actual call audio requires the appropriate consent and release.

Is this affiliated with Jon Breaks Bad News or the military?

No. Tom Breaks Terrible News is an independent, veteran-owned and operated entertainment project. It is not affiliated with Jon Breaks Bad News (who is hilarious, for the record), the U.S. military, VA, DoD, or any government agency.

Mission intake

Somebody has to tell them.

The Chicken Wing can brief it. Tomcat can deliver it. Submit the mission free and let the Desk decide whether this thing gets airborne.