01
Submit for free
Tell Tom who needs the news, what happened, your relationship, and the context that keeps this from becoming total chaos. No payment is required to submit.
Veteran-built attitude • zero official authority
Tom Breaks Terrible News
You have something awful to tell somebody. Tom has a phone, a plan, and a questionable willingness to carry out the mission.
Welcome to The Terrible News Desk. Submit the objective, provide the context, and if it survives desk review, Tom may deliver the terrible news so you don’t have to.
The Terrible News Desk
Callsign: Tom
MissionDeliver the terrible news
StatusOperational
PriorityQuestionable
Threat levelRuins Thanksgiving
Objective: somebody has to tell them.
●Desk status: operationalSubmissions are free • accepted missions do not require payment • $25+ support gets priority placement
Mission brief
How the operation works
02
Desk review
Every request gets screened. No threats, scams, emergencies, doxxing, impersonation, or other nonsense likely to involve lawyers.
03
Mission accepted
If Tom accepts it, the call can still be free. You may optionally support the mission. Support of $25 or more moves an accepted mission to the priority call queue.
04
Call and after action
Tom makes the call. If the real audio cannot be published, the mission may become an anonymized reenactment or narrated mission file instead.
Condition levels
How bad is the situation?
Our condition system was developed with the same rigorous methodology as most group-chat advice: absolutely none. Higher levels simply indicate how much emotional body armor Tom should consider before dialing.
Terrible News Condition Levels
Condition 4 • awkward
Condition 3 • rough
Condition 2 • terrible
Condition 1 • catastrophic
Black flag • thanksgiving
After action reports
How a mission becomes content
Format 01 • Cleared audio
Actual Call
When the required consent and release are in place, the real call can become the published content.
Actual
Format 02 • Identity protected
After Action Reenactment
If the real call cannot be published, Tom can recreate the exchange using changed identifying details and an actor or artificial voice that does not imitate the recipient.
Reenact
Format 03 • Desk narrative
Mission File
Some missions may be retold as an anonymized narrated story using the essential facts without publishing the recipient’s voice or identity.
Narrate
Rules of engagement
Funny does not mean reckless.
Mission approved territory
- Awkward but truthful personal news
- Breakups, confessions, embarrassing updates, family drama
- Pranks or jokes that do not threaten, deceive, or unlawfully target anyone
- Stories you can explain honestly with enough context to review responsibly
Mission denied
- Threats, harassment, stalking, hate, or doxxing
- Emergencies, self-harm, medical crises, or death notifications
- Impersonating police, courts, military, government, banks, employers, or other authorities
- Scams, knowingly false accusations, minors, or illegal conduct
Intel
Frequently asked questions
What does it cost?
Submitting is free, and an accepted mission does not require payment. If your mission is accepted, you may receive an optional support link. Support of $25 or more gives that accepted mission priority placement in the call queue. Paying never overrides safety review and does not guarantee recording or publication.
Will Tom call everyone?
No. Every submission is reviewed. Some are unsafe, some are a bad fit, and some simply do not deserve deployment resources.
Can I stay anonymous?
You can request that Tom not identify you. Whether that is workable depends on the facts and how obvious the setup is.
Will calls be recorded or published?
Only where lawful and appropriate. Publishing actual call audio requires the appropriate consent and release. If that is not available, a mission may instead be summarized, anonymized, or recreated with an actor or artificial voice that does not imitate the recipient.
Is this affiliated with Jon Breaks Bad News or the military?
No. Tom Breaks Terrible News is independent and is not affiliated with Jon Breaks Bad News, the U.S. military, the VA, DoD, or any government agency.
Got terrible news?
Submit it free. If Tom accepts the mission, payment is optional. Supporters at $25 or more move to the priority call queue, but nobody has to pay to get an accepted call.